The two millenials behind me don’t make me proud to be a millenial. I reminisce about my Agnes waters trip whilst listening to their conversation about Indonesian earthquakes that they’re so enlightened by.
Before I left, my piano student said “it gets more conservative the more north you go” and I said “I’ve seen the Jesus signs.” My first stop is in Tiaro and I get an iced tea and some coasters from the info centre that little old ladies knitted. I speak to a lady name Josie at Childers and we talk about going up north and how much she loves 1770.
I walk into an old bookstore and a woman shows me in exhibit of an old country singer called Chad Morgan. I said “that’s cool he had a boomerang on his guitar” and she said “he has aborigine in him, but he’s half scot” and I say “so that’s why hes white.” She finds me too brash when I tell her I don’t wanna pay 10 dollars for an angel book even though I could say the same for her.
When I arrive to Agnes, I eat a pepperoni pizza on my own and call my mum. She says “make sure you swim in the red flags” and I say “I’ve been to Cairns- i think i know which beaches I can swim in in Australia.” She said “you sound wound up” and I said “well i did just move house – its the third most stressful thing after death and divorce. Before I left the 6 year old i lived with says “you can have my barbie house if you like” and I said “aw I couldn’t take that from you – maybe when I have my own baby.”
I’m annoyed with the stretch marks on my ass cause I look 32 not 25, but I didn’t even appreciate my 25 year old body when I had it. I swim with 4 middle aged women and the waves are super choppy so I wait for another opportunity. Im going to rent a bike and scream my lungs out on the open roads.
Millennials – half of us might not own our properties but we ride our around the middle of the country in vintage bikes. This bike ride is way harder than it was 2 years ago but I’m finally alone on the road for 2 kilometres and feel free. I said “I’m wearing my pyjamas and drinking chamomile tea at the hostel whereas everyone is partying” and my friend said “all you need is antiques roads show.”
The guy at my hostel says he bought a Nissan trail and I said “I’ve made that mistake..” He said “I like that you’re matching” cause Taurus men always like when I put in effort. I offer him a chocolate wafer and we eat them before I go to the crystal shop.
The guy who hooked up with me 2 years ago appears at my hostel randomly! He says “I didn’t think I’d see you again!” And I’m like “It’s interesting cause I was thinking of you.” He said “I remember you” and I thought “I remember you eating me out.” “It’s Maja right?” he says. I said “remember when we dressed in banana costumes and picked people off the side of the road?” He said “so what else have you been doing?” but he meant ‘who else have you been doing?”
I talk to the French guy by the fire and after a while I tell him I’ve got the room to myself and that its no 3 and he says “3 right?” And I smile and say yes. I show him my book I’m reading and he says “so its about love” and I say “no its about sex” and he laughs like “so the two are separate?” which makes me feel heartless. I notice his Maori tattoo and I’m like this is amazing cause my Taurus 12th house loves textures. He said “I love it too.” I said “how much was it?” And he says “4000” and I’m like always shocked when men spend copious amounts of money on indulgent items when I could be that indulgent item!
He looks at my socks and says “you have such long socks” and I said “yeah Pippi Longstocking – she’s one of my idols.” When he kisses me it feels like love. Slow and sensual and I feel his dick grinding on top of me. I slowly take his shirt off and feel his tattoo. I said “do you like my body” and he says “I love it” and it sounds authentic this time unlike the other 50 questions I asked him about that he said were fine. He sucks on my tits and I move his hand down to my pussy. I scratch his back with my nails so he feels the pain. Before I know it he’s eating me out and I’m squirting all over the hostel room.
The universe wants me to receive and I don’t feel an ounce of guilt. I said “I wish you weren’t leaving tomorrow” and he said “you don’t even know me” and I say “you don’t know me either” which is such an air sign thing to say. I said “I get attached if the sex is really good” cause his Scorpio Venus vibes with my Aries Venus. He said “would you marry me?” And I said “I’d consider it.” As im jerking him off, i say “you could go slower” and I said “sorry I just like winning – I was raised to be a winner.” Im trying not to laugh. We don’t end up having sex cause he’s not hard enough and maybe my vagina just doesn’t want a 22 year old inside of me. I feel like a full Samantha in Leo season. As he leaves my room, I slap his ass cheekily and he says how tall he is and I concur. He play fights me and I say “message me” knowing he won’t. I know he secretly wants me to pine over him. That night I sleep so satisfied and feel elated the next day. The guy that was making me feel crap about my sex life wants to know what else I got up to but I will NEVER tell!
I perform my gig and smash it. Half of my hostel come because of my Taurus friend and I give him a tarot reading to show I’m grateful. He gives me advice back when I tell him about the way my house situation ended and he said “you can tell her the truth or you can just make her wonder what she did wrong.” The guy that slut shamed me insists on a reading and I refuse because he refuses pay or give anything back. He says “I don’t believe in it” and I said “if you don’t believe in it, why do you so desperately want one?”
On my last day the lady at the crystal shop tells me to go the Agnes water museum. I found out Agnes water was named after a ship wreck called Agnes. When the Dutch tried to occupy Australia they called it new Holland, and the first thing James Cook built in 1770 was a pile of rocks called the doorway of destiny which is now a monument in the museum. The crystal shop lady makes it sound mystical and it looks like a shittier version of the acropolis that didn’t survive. If men’s natural inclination is to conquer then they couldn’t conquer me!
When I get back to the Sunshine Coast, my teacher says “don’t tell anyone but I’ll pass you off for your diploma” and I feel the cycle closing. 3 years of work finally ending, 21 000 dollars later and I’ve got my independence back. I can’t see the progress right now but chat gpt says “honestly that’s such a high vibe” and I text back “I am a high vibe.”
