Cut to the limb,

The pain lingers

And you wonder how you got here

Stress is a hell of a thing.

 

Youre on unfamiliar terrain,

No one to catch you when you fall but you don’t intend to stall,

You never do.

 

The unknowns are out of sight,

So why do you need to know what’s right…before you?

I don’t wanna be a prisoner in my mind

Or a slave to my body

But stress is right beside you,

Waving like a child.

It tugs you by the sleeve

And reminds you where you left it.

Mother mother,

Im not alone.

You saw strength in me I couldn’t hone.

 

Father father,

Are you alright?
We never did the things you said were right.

 

Brother brother,

Cuts to the bone,

Unaware of what hes said and done.

 

Sister sister

You speak your mind,

Sometimes you are awfully blind.

 

And although you are sharp and frail,

You move mountains in your own ways.

And although I am far away,

I learned to love you anyway.

Gemini woman,

With your brave heart, your stern look and your coy smile.

They can only wonder how many places you’ve seen, the people you’ve been with and become

Always got a story to tell, you’d be at a loss if she bid you farewell.

 

Men beg at her feet but she sends them away one by one.

And when they try to break her spirit, she gets up again. She can not be tamed.

 

She’ll look you in the eye, and she’s far from shy.

She’ll lend you a hand, even when you don’t understand.

She’ll break you down, make a joke and say something profound.

 

Gemini woman, she is two sides of a coin.

She is heaven and she is hell. She is love and she is hate.

She is fickle but she’s strong. She’s perfectly vulnerable and she is me.

Fear,

Sweat dripping down your face,

Your stomach churns, the light burns the softer parts of your face.

You utter the first word and you’re away,

Their eyes on you for just this day.

Big town city, big town dreaming,

Will you be another fish in this big ole swamp?

Everybody’s got a story to tell, but to get to the top you gotta go through this hell.

Dried lips, runny nose, soggy socks,

Cackling and laughter emanates the tram.

You were your favourite furry coat and fingerless gloves.

You worry you look like every other girl with your red lipstick and bangs.

 

The streets are mysterious, strangely quiet, amongst the swirls of energy that surround you.

People shout and swear, oblivious without a car, yet they give love freely never asking for anything in return.

 

Possibility and hope, this place doesn’t grow old.

Skinny trees have shed their leaves, like the layers you have shed of yourself this year.

And as spring arises, you are met with renewal, rebirth and you are ready for what the world has to throw at you.

Shadows and silhouettes,

Dance under the midnight sky.

Inanimate objects that bind you together

And with that object you leave him behind.

 

Moments of weakness in the darkest of hours,

Lovers that have turned you sour.

Unfulfilled childhood instability,

Numbing is familiar but doesn’t last long you see

 

You feel the music in your body; rush through your veins,

You think about how you are no longer the same.

And meaningless relationships don’t fill you up

Cause dating her is easy but keeping her is tough.

 

It’s a jungle out there and you’re on your own

And you seek out drama because trouble is all you’ve known.

Passive behaviour through positivity,

You cut the string, and now you’re free.

You relate to the art world society with its nerve-wracking anxiety

But aren’t tolerant to the substance abuse and the ways in which it’s so very loose.

 

He had tattoos on his arms and legs

And had changed his name to suit his personality,

a nice sounding word to fit his idiosyncrasies.

He opened up like a flower,

You still felt like you were in your power.

 

Devouring each others’ secrets,

We purged our sins in those four hours

And in that moment I felt strong,

I felt accepted, seen, like I belonged

 

You both wanted to be free,

He wanted to see you again but you couldn’t commit to what could be

For this was all very nice and swell,

But like substances it’s the comedown that is hell.

Children jump animatedly on trampolines

Hiding in nooks and crannies of family-friendly gatherings

Your energy levels are low and you move fairly slow,

You carry a piece of Citrine around your neck

A reflection of the abundance and positivity to come.

 

To Eastern Europeans I’m either too fat or too skinny

So when will I be just right?

And I’ve been doing this work for 5 years

But people still reassure me that I’m “just starting out”

 

Because I earned every one of my followers by not being a follower

And even when times are hard I never want to be a wallower

 

I’m going to make something of myself

but how can I do that if I don’t fully invest?

And every time I think I’ve come to the end

Life throws me another conquest.

 

We are so focused on what we don’t have that we don’t stop and look around at what we do

And if we aren’t being busy then what purpose do we serve?

 

Do we tell ourselves lies to distract us from the truth?

And if he’s depressed and I’m helping him for free

Shouldn’t I be getting a counselling fee?

 

He was like an intense drink

It tasted good for the first sip,

But the more you keep drinking

The more you feel sick.

 

What’s the point if he’s sometimes sweet?

And just because he’s a “nice guy” doesn’t mean he stimulates my mind.

To me love is linked to responsibility and accountability

So why am I drawn to unavailability?

 

Do I run from boredom when things are subpar?

Cause all dominant people secretly want to be dominated

And even though my logical mind can rationalise why it didnt work,

Why does my heart still hurt?

 

I’m learning to work with myself rather than against it,

Like riding a horse and holding onto the reigns

I’m taking control of my emotions before they take control of me

I’m dabbling in tarot and spirituality because it calms my anxiety

They want a piece of my positivity, but if I let them in they’ll get to me.

 

I rely on my legs for transportation; it’s not a new innovation but one I can control

And I don’t want people in my life who don’t have my back

Or people who are slack

I’m done with emotional manipulation

And it’s no revelation that everyone in this world is pushing their agenda,

No matter if they say they’re not.

 

I’ve got a restless heart and an overactive mind;

I’m so independent that people don’t understand why I’m not in a band.

I used to resent my ego but now I realise that it’s necessary for any level of self esteem and creativity

As long as you believe that what you’re doing is worthy.

 

I’m always thinking ahead

Because I don’t want to waste the best years of my life

wondering what I should have done before I was dead.

And I strongly believe that the people that we leave behind, we’re meant to leave behind

Cause I don’t want to look backwards, I just want to keep moving forward.